SportsBadorties

Francona has a brain fart

ewhitson — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 03:22:09 +0000

Sox winning by 2 runs, you bring in bars with his 100mph cheese and he gets the third out, but NO, you’ve got to be smarter than everyone and bring Paps in to save a game that doesn’t need saving and kaboom! The shitiest team in the AL ties it in the ninth and goes ahead in the 11th. Coulda just played it simple with Bard…stupid mistake by an otherwise great manager. Just trade for Halladay and get this b.s. Mediocre end of the rotation crap done with so we can win this thing.

What goes up must come down

ewhitson — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 11:45:54 +0000

Yankees streak over, the bluster should be, too. Back to second place by Tuesday. Bend over for the Red Sox.

False Prophets and Biblical Justice

Sport — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 13:08:57 +0000

When man needed some talkin’ to, God sent rain for 40 days
When Adam acted up, there was some brief rib surgery required.
Lot’s Wife ? Pain in the ass wouldn’t listen, she’s a Salt lick now somewhere outside of Gomorrah .

Ed Whitson and the rest of the Idiot Sox fans? A Plague is upon your house. Pinstriped Locusts with interlocking NY’s stamped on their tiny hats are going to slowly consume you until Big Papi is nothing but Bone and Cartilage desperately searching for his Dreadlocked- former pal.

Thus shall it be for the demonic forces spreading the lies about the Holy Sacristy of the New York Yankees

7 Games out????

I think not. It’s a great day in Yankeeland .

Finally…Lugo Designated for Assignment

ewhitson — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 02:17:07 +0000

This news makes me want to sing Christmas hymns…and I’m Jewish. The dude had something like 9 errors in 90 chances this season; I could do bettr. Really, I could. Adiós, amigo. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

It’s Getting Late Early

ewhitson — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 02:28:21 +0000

Just gonna put this out there as a matter of fact: the inept superstars from the Bronx are now five games out. With the distinct possibility that the Red Sox will sweep the Nats, the Yanks could very well be seven games out before the weekend comes. With pitching a perennial thorn in the Chokees’ side and their lack of situational hitting chops killing all potential rallies, the inevitable Girardi Watch has officially begun. If the Yanks taste fourth place Girardi will be pilloried and beheaded.
-Ed Whitson

Open Letter to Yankees Fans

ewhitson — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 14:57:32 +0000

You amnesiac, chest-thumping retards had enough yet? Duh, we got 26 championships, you say? SHUT UP, I say.

You don’t even remember where you were the last time your Chokees won a championship, and you conveniently overlook the last ten years of their history… it’s been a decade of choking and futility for the Chokees, a consistent streak of failure dating back to 2000. Jeter, Posada, Mo and Pettitte are all that’s left from those real championship teams, and not one of them has managed to come through against Boston in recent memory (Jeter’s inability to move the runner over late in last night’s game a prime example of how unclutch he and the rest of those faux-stars have become).

You keep celebrating all those 26 championships, keep reliving the glory years through the watching of innumerable late night reruns of Yankeeography BJs and Yankees Classics on YES…in the here and now the Yankees are a mediocre assemblage of overpaid, underachieving poseurs incapable of beating good teams when it matters. You know it, I know it, and most importantly, they know it.

The only new flag flying in Yankees Stadium this year will be colored white, and it’ll be Joe Girardi who’s waving it come late August when the Pinstriped Scourge rolls over and dies. That’s right, it’s welcome back to the years of Mel Hall and Mike Pagliarulo for you. Teixiera will be the new Mattingly, A-Rod will be the new Steve Balboni, and the Yankees will suck until no one comes to watch them anymore and those 26 flags tatter in the windtunnel that is their new stadium. Think I’m wrong? Go to www.smackcaster.com and call me out.

Penny For Your Pinstriped Thoughts

ewhitson — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 01:21:11 +0000

Brad Penny pitched his finest game so far as a Member of the Red Sox, making Matsui look like a sucker toclose out the sixth. With Smoltz on the way back to the Bigs and Buchholz in the wings, would it be bad to think Matsuzaka should got the pen (or they could feed him to Sabathia as a seventh inning snack, damn is he huge) and the Sox could have a six man rotation?

Get Your Brooms Ready

ewhitson — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 21:59:54 +0000

Just imagine the pressure inside Joe Girardi’s colon right about now…a loss tonight to the Red Sox will create some distress in Rockhead’s lower tract, that’s for sure. That said, CC Sabathia is the Yankees’ best pitcher, and their best bet to save them from the certain hell that would await in the media and the fanbase after getting swept…um, again. For, like, the third time. The cynic in me wouldn’t put it past Penny, tonight’s starter for Boston, to throw some meatballs and render himself untradable as the Sox get ready to push him aside for Smoltz and/or Buchholz. But this season series winning streak against our ancient rival has me feeling giddy and optimistic, and I think Penny will look to prove his worth in hopes of sticking around for the good times that seem to lie ahead. I expect a tight game that hinges on how long CC lasts. If he goes less than 7 innings it’ll be a sweep, and blood will run in the streets in Tampa and the Bronx. Go to http://www.smackcaster.com after the game to see what the sportsworld at large thinks.

Wang Prepares Fresh Batch of Meatballs for Boston

ewhitson — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 20:28:52 +0000

The Red Sox just announced that tonight’s pre-game buffet for players will be withheld and that Red Sox batters will have napkins tucked into their jerseys in preparation for the meatballs Wang will be serving up from the mound. Could be a football score tonight out at the Fens…Wang will be watching the fourth inning from the clubhouse.

yawn…Red Sox beat Yanks again

ewhitson — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 03:07:18 +0000

Better offense, better defense, better pitching, better bullpen…and watching Bard make Tex, A-Roid and Cano look foolish at 100 mph made it another perfect night. Papi’s dinger was sweet, too. Looking forward to the drubbing of Wang tomorrow night.